Motherhood

Wow.

Each day is a new day. Yesterday I thought I'd be on the 10 o'clock news for doing something unmotherly because in the middle of church my supposedly "sweet" child screamed, "NO!" while slapping me across the face. It continued with Son getting perturbed by one of my comments & consequently concluding with him sticking his tongue out at me in a most crude & defiant manner in front of possibly 50 reverent onlookers.

I'm not sure if it's because of the hormones or what... {hormones} but my eyes filled with tears. I picked up my nearly 5-year-old son & stormed out to find a quiet room. The tears began to spill as we entered a space where I could let go. We sat next to each other & I began to cry.

This apparently terrified Son. Who is this person? is I'm sure what he was thinking. Not my Mom. My Mom's tough. He gazed at me with wide eyes as I asked, my voice shaking, "Don't you like me?" I immediately felt like I was indeed the five-year-old; but still, my feelings were real & bruised.

His lip jetted out & his eyes reddened. He nodded his head slowly.

I continued letting him know it hurts my feelings when he says & does mean things. This seemed to really get through to him as he came to me with a hug & apology. We went home after church & immediately made a list for Son & Dot. This list included things like:

• Talk nicely
• Do something nice for someone in my family
• Have a good attitude
• Eat dinner happily
• Brush my own teeth
• Get dressed in the morning all by myself
• Help out Mom
• Clean up my room
• Be a good friend...

I told each child when they awoke in the morning they would have their own Reward Chart. They rose excited & I presented them with their charts. Today has been glorious. Every time we have an issue I remind them, "You can get a sticker for a happy attitude..." They quickly get a smile on their face & say something sweet in an angelic voice.

I don't know how long this utopia will last, but I'm going to ride the Reward Train for as long as possible. Each week we can modify the charts to target what each child is struggling with at the moment. Who knows? Maybe it'll get me past this first trimester. :)