Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Business Time

Tuesdays are supposed to be about our physical self. Well it doesn't get anymore physical than this.

**Disclaimer: If you are offended easily by conversations involving {sex}, perhaps this post isn't for you. And for that matter, perhaps this blog isn't for you. Spoiler Alert: That's how we all got here. :)

When Husband & I were engaged up at Utah State in Logan, our church leader encouraged us to take these engagement classes. One was about communication, one was about finances & one was about DUM-dum-dum... marital relations. And after nearly 11 years together, the topic is still stimulating. {You may snicker.}

Why were these classes chosen for this specific seminar? Looking back, I thought they were spot on. All of these topics could potentially ruin a relationship. Not being able to talk to one another, the stress of bills & debt & of course, the mother load...
the bedroom

Most would call me a candid soul {No?}, so I'm not going to stop now. Sexual relations are very important in a marriage. In a class I attended not long ago, a psychologist lectured on this very subject. I loved his candor. He was direct without giving TMI. He was funny without being vulgar. This is a tricky balancing act especially among "religious" folks.

Here's the jist: Guys want it... a lot. And women want it too, but we need to FEEL appreciated & wanted.

Here's where the communication comes in handy.

Husband: {He gets that look in his eyes. You know the one. And you aren't feeling it.} Hey.

Wife: {Shakes head.} I ate too much tonight & I'm feeling bloated. You sure you want to?

Husband: {The look has vanished. Bloat is NOT a sexy word.} Never mind.

End scene.

Now how could this have played out differently? In a previous post I stated, "[I view] foreplay as my husband doing the dishes, playing with the kids, flushing the toilet & telling me the house looks very clean." Not by him saying... "Hey, wanna do it?" Gross. Gross. Gross. No I don't want to do it. Not when you say it like you're one of those skeezy guys from the Jersey Shore! {And NO, I've never seen that show.}

When are we gonna get each other?

Here's the cliff notes version of "Sex for Married Dummies," penned by Heather.

Boys: If you want to have sex with your beautiful wife, make her feel desired, appreciated respected & loved. How do you achieve this? By buying her flowers every once in a while {finances} (or pick them from your neighbors yard. If he's a guy, he'll understand.). Call on your way home from work to tell her your excited to see her. Ask if there's anything you can do to help out with dinner. Help her with the dishes after the meal. Spend time with your children. Tell your kids how much you love their Mommy & kiss her in front of them... etc. You gotta put in the time & energy guys to get your end result. It's how we're made.

Girls: If you want to feel connected with your handsome husband, have sex with him! Be spontaneous. Not much time or energy needed. That's how they're made. {I know. God has got a real sense of humor.}

Yep, it's that simple. Give & take. Husband & I have struck a nice balance. We enjoy one another because we listen to one another. We try to understand & make each other happy & yes, sex is a big part of marriage. Not the biggest part, but a big part.

So if you have to make Wednesdays or Saturdays sex nights, do it. Pencil in sex gosh darn it. Look forward to it. Go out on dates. I promise you, if he knows Saturday is business time, he'll be on his best game. And again, it's a win, win.

Be good to each other. Listen. Love. {I'm not going to say become one, because that's barf.} But reconnect. Surprise one another. A little spice never hurt anyone.

And speaking of spice... (nice segue, huh?) here's another healthy recipe. You'll need it. Especially after all those calories you'll be burning.

Click here for my recent FAVORITE pasta recipe! Enjoy!
{My only additions to this recipe are FRESH mozzarella ciliegine (packed in water) instead of shredded & FRESH basil from my cute little plant from Trader Joe's that's still alive & flourishing. Only $2.99. Way cheaper than buying fresh basil each time.}

A long time ago, we found this video & I think it amply applies today. Enjoy squared.


  1. Hands down my favorite post yet! I am still laughing at that video@!

  2. good post...now i better get off here and put out..thanks for making my feel guilty :) my husband will write you a thank you note later...

    off to have sex ....ha

  3. Thank you for this post. It is SPOT on!!!